Getting Your Confidence

Single mother Trish, who goes by the user name YummyMummmy, says online dating actually helped her get to know herself by forcing her to describe who she was, and what she was looking for in a partner.

For the first five years after her marriage break-up, Trish wanted to remain single, but when she was ready to get back in the game, she headed to the web to find her feet.

“In my 20s I avoided dating because it was kind of scary. I just met a guy and married him. So here I was now at 36, and I really wanted to go through the dating experience. I used the internet as a learning tool.”

Trish originally set out to meet different people, even those she wasn’t particularly attracted to, as a way to discover her likes and dislikes.

“My goal at the beginning was to meet lots of people and build my confidence. And the more people I met the more I knew what I wanted in a guy. Now I know what I want and there’s no confusion. That realisation came about through online dating.”

Trish says in her 18 months of online dating she’s met many friends, had a “mini relationship” and is now corresponding with someone who she thinks could be a life partner.

“I’m ready for something more serious, but I’m just getting to know him on the internet. But it has to start from within you, working out what you want.”

This dating diva also advises people not to rule out the importance of networking.

“You might meet someone where there’s no connection, but he’s got friends, so you’re broadening your network. You need to have a casual attitude and just have fun.”

The young mum, who’s become a dating veteran, advises newcomers not to be too serious about connecting with people online.

“Online dating does work, but have no expectations. If you’re on there looking for a long-term partner, that expectation can be desperate. You just have to be open to meeting people anywhere – at the shops, or online. But you have to know what you want in a partner,” she said.

Trish tells the story of a woman who had a ‘yes’ year, where she just went out with anyone – whatever his occupation, wage, marital history or personality.
“And she ended up with a guy that she least expected to be with and they’re happily married.”
A great case she says of being open to people you might think aren’t your type.
But ultimately, Trish says online dating gave her confidence, which she believes is the key to advertising yourself as attractive and available.

“If you go out and look inviting and friendly, you’re a magnet for people to come up and talk to you. And that’s about confidence.”

Continue: "Online Dating: Getting Started" >>